Saturday 3 December 2011

Twenty weeks later

Well this has sure been one heck of a week, I began it by feeling really ill, and I simply got worse. I spent the best part of two days in bed, having chills and fevers (freezing cold and then boiling hot), and feeling like every bone in my body ached, even the little ones in my feet. Neil concluded it was flu, and told the boys they were on their own. He said it was like when I was in hospital, only different, well they weren't far wrong, between them they fed themselves and me (not that I ate much at all), and they walked the dog and looked after Malarky. Will even cycled all the way to the field on Wednesday (strike day so no school) and fed him and skipped him out, as Neil could only do it in the dark. I am now feeling much better, not well but better. I have a really horrible chesty cough, and still keep spiking a temperature now and again, but at least I don't ache any more. If it is flu, it's horrible and not something I want to experience again, and if any one tries to tell me it was a bad cold, I warn you, I won't take it very well.

Now for my blog, I've decided to call it a day. I started writing it for a reason, as I was in such a bad place emotionally after my operation(s) that I needed somewhere to take all my venting to, and it did the trick, I managed to get myself out of the funk I was in and into a more normal funk for a person trying to do a degree whilst living with their boys (yes I included Neil in that).  I am finding though that it's not as cathartic as having a diary, as there are things that I can't write in here because of the people that can read it, so I censor it to make sure that I haven't offended anyone, even if they've annoyed me that day. Then you don't get the same feedback you would if you went to the pub with a mate and moaned about all of your woes, sometimes that would be more helpful. So because I can't be brutally honest for fear of offending or upsetting people, and I don't get the helpful advice that I would from having a girly chat. I don;t really see that this is therapeutic for me at all any more.

If you are my friend or family and still want to know how I am getting on, message me on facebook, or ring me and ask, I still will have that info for you, and it might make for a more rounded chat for me. If I don't actually know you from real life, but you have enjoyed reading my blog, then ditto, all new friends welcome.

Apart from that all I really have to say is a huge big thank you. I don't know how I'd have got through those first weeks without you all, even if I didn't know who you were, it felt good knowing that people cared.

So thank you for reading my blog, and hopefully enjoying some of it.

Maxine