Eleven weeks + 4

Wednesdays seem much further along in the week than they used to, I guess it's just one of those getting older kind of things. It could be something to do with my second half of the week being so much busier than the first so that if I haven't get something done by Wednesday morning, it won't get done until the weekend. Trouble is when you go back to Uni you think you have a couple of weeks just to get back into the rhythm of things but in reality it's only a couple of weeks before the first assignment is due in, OK now I've made myself feel a little bit panicky! Breathe Maxine, Breathe. OK thats' better, let's not do that again, I can get into a slightly psychotic thing when I have essays due, so I'll apologise for the neurotic behaviour to come, now. Sorry. Actually I should find it so much easier this year, as last year I took extenuating circumstances on my essays due in at Christmas, only to find myself with 6 due in at once in March, Oops didn't really cover it! 

You will be glad to hear that having the normal lecturer back on a Tuesday made a vast improvement on the subject matter, I mean the American Civil War should be an interesting subject really, and I managed to not go to sleep after being up since 4 in the morning so I think he did a good job. The only slightly dodgy part is that he walks about a lot and picks your stuff up to use as props when demonstrating loading guns and things, but as long as I sit in the middle I think I'll be safe, well safer anyway. That's the module that I have my first assignment to do for, so I really could do with getting into the subject before I actually try to write something down about it! Today I have Germany 1871 - 1949 which is a lot more interesting than you'd think. We've looked at some great photos from the time, it's kind of cool having photos to help, shame they didn't have the technology in Tudor times, it could solve a few queries for me, like were they really that colourful, and was Henry VIII really that fat? So what I need is a time travelling photographer, of course why didn't I think of that sooner.

You won't believe what happened to me yesterday, I didn't have any washing to do, I mean there wasn't a load, not in the whole house. I checked, Twice! I can only assume I was in some kind of freak vortex or something and that all the washing baskets will be full again this morning. They say an army marches on it's stomach, well this house marches on it's clothes, OK that made no sense, but I never ever have NO washing, it just doesn't happen. So that could be taken it two very different ways, either I'm juggling all those balls pretty well and have got on top of the washing in the house (really it never happens) or, and I'm afraid far more likely, they haven't been putting their washing in the baskets (yes there are 5 of them in my house, maybe that's the problem). This is a query that only time can resolve. I'll let you know.

I have to go now I'm afraid, as I need to kick Will out of bed, for Christmas I'm going to buy him the loudest alarm clock I can find, preferably with a punching hand to bop him on the nose every morning, that just might work.

Eleven weeks + 3

Well I've been awake since 4 o'clock, that's not a good start for a Tuesday, when I have a lecture in the evening. Still I could just lean on the desk and snooze whilst he is lecturing, I'm sure it's been done before, actually I think I've done it before. Yesterday was quite a good day really, I wrote a shopping list and went shopping in the morning, so my fridge is full to overflowing right now, and no not with wine! Then I went and collected chips from the chip shop and went to visit my friend Lo, what this meant was sitting in her field eating chips in the sunshine and talking about everything and nothing until I realised my bum had gone numb. It's not a bad way to spend a couple of hours (apart from the numbness). Then I was back home to collect Will and take him with me to do Malarky, I've discovered that it's the best way to find out how his day has been, trapped in a field with me (or up the woods) I get to hear a lot more than if he was at home and distracted by all that electrical equipment. It doesn't work quite as well with Xander as when he comes to the field he sits and talks to Malarky rather than me, but one out of two's not bad. Then I came home and cooked a healthy chilli for Neil (he's on a diet now), he says the trouble with healthy chillis is that they're all heat and no richness, well that would be all the vegetables in them, although I forgot to add the beans, so I'm not sure it really was a chilli, just don't tell him. Then after dinner Neil took Will to Merry Hill (he had baby sitting money burning a hole in his pocket), and Xander and I walked the dog. Phew quite a full day really.

Today I need to get some housework done, I know I mention it all the time, but seriously I don't do any of it I just talk about having to do it. It is a well known fact that I will do anything to get out of doing my housework, what do you think Ned and Malarky are for? Seriously though I need to straighten the place up a bit, if only to prove that I can keep all these balls in the air at once, you know Uni, children, house, Summerhill, horse, dog, husband, all the usual suspects (they're not in order of preference). Never mind that I now have a utility to decorate, although I disagree with Neil, I think he needs to put all the plumbing in for the new sink before I decorate the room, but that just sounds like paint avoidance even to me. The tiled floor looks really great, although I've discovered it's a bit slippy, and the room is very echoey  now, I guess I need a rug or something, which seems a shame when the floor looks so nice. So this morning (following my timetable) I will be taking Ned to the woods, then I've discovered it works best if I have dinner at lunchtime, so I'm not too hungry by the time I finish my lecture, I do hope it's more interesting than last week otherwise I really will fall asleep, I'm not joking.

I just thought I'd mention that I have an MRI scan of my liver booked for next Monday, remember I'm pretty sure it's nothing to worry about so we will try and forget that it's looming, if that's OK with everyone. I still have to remember to go for my cancer screening blood test, then maybe at my next consultants appointment he will actually be able to tell me something, instead of me sitting around for hours for no apparent reason. As I said in my blog the other day the cancer stuff really is in the background at the moment, my life is far too full with all the other stuff, including my housework, for it to really be part of my day. So what else have I got on, well I forgot to write up my log for my Summerhill placement, which means I have to remember what happened in the lessons last week, OK it was a Thursday morning, and there were children and some history stuff, OK this may be harder than I thought. Note to self - write up your placement log as soon as you get home in future, silly! If I could remember which eras in history they were all doing it would help, I think there was William the Conqueror in a cotton mill with the IRA, does that sound right to you? Sound more like a game of Cludo to me.

Right I'm going to go and forage for some breakfast, and wake the boys up, maybe I feel a bacon sandwich calling, trouble is I'll have to make one for all of us now, oh well you can't beat a bacon sandwich to start the day.

Eleven weeks + 2

As you may have gathered we all survived our trip out, whether there was any therapeutic value in taking a family trip out remains to be seen, but nobody actually fell out with anyone yesterday, so it didn't hurt. Witley Court was brilliant, we can't have been for about 18 years (it was painful just working that out), the house and gardens were taken over by English Heritage in 1996 and they've restored the fountain and some of the flower beds. There are also some woodland walks and things so there's plenty to see, but the fountain is the best bit. I think they turn it on every hour, it takes a bit of time to get to full flow but it is well worth the wait, and the whole place is well worth a visit. It cost us £16.40 for a family ticket, so that's not too bad at all. I know I sound like an advert, but I enjoyed it that much I don't mind.

As for the caravan, well that was not as successful, it looked all right at first glance, but I found damp all round the kitchen window, and the man trying to sell it, well his story just didn't add up, anyway it's worth a little time even if it just rules it out. We still don't really know exactly what we want to buy, just lots of wishes, still we're not in any hurry and I'm sure the right van with fall into our laps at some point. We had a small bit of excitement yesterday as it was clear there was a major fire in Kidderminster, which we sort of skirted round to get to Witley, we saw a fire engine and two fire freelanders,  (I have no clue, they were Landrover freelanders  with flashing lights) heading from Worcester towards Kidderminster. When we got home and I checked the news there had been a major fire and a couple of shops had burnt down, very quickly apparently but luckily no one was hurt. It all seemed a bit busy for what should have been a nice lazy Sunday. 

Today is (according to the weathermen) the last day of our mini heatwave, I have enjoyed it immensely and have dried so many loads of washing outside (I know sad), I will be back to having my washing dripping on airers all around the house by the end of the week. Oh well the rain will be good for Malarky, well not him but at least his grass might grow a little more. I am having a trip out today to go and visit an old friend, she's not old the friendship is, I am being naughty and going via the chip shop, (I'm pretty sure the calories from chips don't count if you eat them outside) I'm going to her field in her lunch break, so I have to get my food shopping done this morning. Wish me luck with that, my Monday mornings never go the way I plan them, what is it they say, "God laughs when people make plans", something like that anyway, it certainly works that way with me.

I should go, I haven't heard Will moving yet and he needs to be out of the house in 20 minutes or he'll be late for school, as for Xander, oh yes he's up and playing some strange game on the other computer. Will somebody remind me to get some earphones for him so I don't have to listen to the strange music on his game, it's very distracting! 

Here's hoping everybody has a good start to their week. 

Eleven weeks + 1

First of all I have to wonder why I'm up so early on a Sunday morning when I should be lazing around in bed. I mean I'm even up before Neil which is practically impossible to do on any normal day, maybe it's this cold that we all have, or possibly the heat. I'm not complaining about the heat, it's perfectly normal to be wearing shorts at 7 o'clock on a Sunday morning in October! I am in the wars a little, now don't laugh, but I grated my little finger really badly yesterday (I can hear you laughing you know). I blame healthy eating, I was grating some carrot to put on the salad we were having with our healthy potato wedges and healthy chicken breast (tikka flavoured, marinated myself) when I sliced the side of my finger off next to the nail. Oh boy did it bleed, and yes for any concerned vegetarians out there I found the slice of finger and put it in the bin. So I don't think I will be able to wash up today, as there really is quite a chunk missing from my finger and it's really sore and yes I'm a big baby. As Neil pointed out, I didn't cry about having my belly sliced open yet I'm making a huge fuss about a little bit of skin on my finger. Damn right I am, it hurts!

I had either a major showdown, or a major breakthrough with Xander yesterday, only time will tell. He (at 11) is going through puberty a little early, apparently it's not uncommon for boys who are larger than average, and oh boy is he stroppy and hormonal and behaving thoroughly unreasonably. Trouble is even if I understand his bad behaviour is because he's hormonal it doesn't stop it being bad, so I needed to find a way of limiting it's effects on the house before we all divorce him. Now with Will it was easy, "if you do that again I will put you on a ban" solved all troubles. A "ban" in our house is electrical it would mean no XBox, computer or TV, in his darkest hours I permitted him to listen to his radio. It worked, but it only worked with Will, not with Xander, if I tried to put Xander on a ban he'd do that thing that we parents hate; shrug his shoulders and say "so". Oh boy. So yesterday we were at it again, me asking him to do things, and him saying "why should I" and stomping off to his room I just didn't know what to do. So I called them both downstairs for a conference (I always get them both involved, even if I'm only targeting one), we have conferences frequently, usually I say lots of things and they nod a lot, and I feel better, then they carry on as normal. Anyway I was trying to talk to Xander about why he stropped off when he agreed I was only asking him to do things that he knew he needed to do (like homework). He just kept laughing, so I talked about how best to punish him for his bad behaviour, saying he was too big for the naughty step (please see previous blog), and he still kept laughing. I suggested making him sleep in the dark (he's terrified) even removing his bed, you guessed it he was still laughing. So I said (in my sternest voice) that I would give up Uni, get a full time job and use my money to send him to boarding school, where he could be somebody elses problem. Now every good parent knows that a threatened punishment only works if the child is convinced that you will follow through with it. I convinced him. He dissolved into tears and hugged me and said he was so sorry and wouldn't behave that way again. Now we all know that he will behave that way again, but I now have my "super-threat" that at least for now just may keep him in line. I think that if he's starting puberty now, maybe we'll be over the worst of it before he's actually bigger than me and I lose even more control over him, despite the fact I'm quite tall, I know I'll end up being little Mom!

Family problems aside, we are all going on a trip today, taking a picnic lunch with us. Will doesn't really want to come, but he is aware that Neil wants him to, as Neil thinks that a family trip out will be good for us considering the tensions in the house at the moment, he may be right, or trapped in a car with each other for an hour may just be the death of us. Anyway we are going to Witley court, it's a shell of a grand palace in Worcestershire, burnt down in 1937, but the gardens have been restored. Neil and I have been there several times, but we used to live in Kidderminster so were closer, we've never taken the boys, and thought it would be a nice trip out. We may be viewing a caravan in Stourport, which is on the way, but that is not the reason we are going. This all could fall apart so easily this morning, people getting out of bed the wrong side, the caravan being sold already, I'll let you know tomorrow if it all works out. If you don't hear from me I'm guessing you should look for reports of a murder taking place of a family in a Kia Sorento somewhere in Worcestershire, there will be suspicious circumstances, but the police won't be looking for anyone else in connection with the incident! 

Eleven weeks later

I'm feeling very reflective this morning, thinking about how I felt when I started writing this blog, and why I started writing it. It was just three weeks after my second operation, I was so cross and upset and disappointed, I was frustrated and so very angry. So I poured it into my blog, all the things that I wanted to do and couldn't and moaned about having to do them with Cyril, instead of being stoma free which was the whole point of putting myself through the first operation. In truth I felt thoroughly sorry for myself, but probably had every right to, it was a tough few weeks for everyone around me. Now look at me, back at Uni, moaning about my lectures, volunteering at Summerhill and loving every minute of it. Plus the boys at school and all the ups and downs of that, with trips to the woods and Malarky thrown in for good measure. My blog is no longer about my struggle to recover from having two major operations a week apart, it's simply about a woman, trying to get a degree whilst living in a mad house. The reason I'm saying all this is because if I'm honest that's who I was in 2008, before all this happened, the original operation and the cancer, I was a woman trying to get a degree whilst living in a mad house. It's one of the most positive realisations I've had in a long while. It doesn't mean the cancer stuff isn't there, it kind of trundles along behind me occasionally poking it's nose into my life with scans and consultant appointments, but it's not in front of me all the time taking over my life, I control that. 

Anyway Neil managed to get himself in the dog house with me yesterday, I'll grant after all the fall out the night before this wasn't a hard task to complete. He went to the Doctors yesterday, it was to see the nurse at some kind of Well Man clinic, he was having some tests and the results of his blood test from the other week. All to say whether he was at risk from major things like heart attacks, diabetes and whether his cholesterol levels were normal and other health related things. Now he is carrying a little too much weight, and there is diabetes in his family so I was quite concerned that everything was going to be OK. But I had to go to Malarky and take Ned to the woods yesterday after school so I wasn't in when he got back from the Doctors. He could have rung me to let me know how it all went, but I didn't get a call, so I got more concerned and rang home from the woods, the house phone was engaged and so I got Xander on his mobile only to find out that Neil was home and well and on the phone to his Mother. Well I'm afraid that was enough, I personally think he should have rung me to let me know that everything went OK, instead of ringing his mother first, but what do I know I've only been married to him for nearly 22 years I still have a lot to learn. I should have been glad that apart from needing to lose a little weight the nurse said everything else was fine, but instead I was cross and sent him to the dog house. Cranky woman, I know!

Then there was Xander, now he managed to not eat his lunch, something about being too busy at lunchtime playing, well I guess that happens (I'm telling you this to lay the ground work). So you have to understand Neil logic, this is a man who used to put sweetener in his tea so he could be allowed a chocolate biscuit with it. So after he found out everything was OK yesterday he suggested we had a take away (Indian) to celebrate, I know he needs to lose a little weight but he can do that next week, it was more important that his other tests were OK. Anyway so he orders an Indian and leaves to pick it up just as I get back from the woods, taking Will with him. So at this point there is now just Xander and me in the house. Now I cannot tell you how fast this blew up, but one minute Xander was laying the table, (Neil had put chips and chicken things in the oven for the boys) the next he was yelling in my face that he didn't care, I very nearly slapped him but kept my cool and sent him to the bottom of the stairs. It was the punishment step from years ago when he was little but I just went on instinct not logic and that's where I sent him. After 5 minutes he stomped off upstairs and shouted that he wasn't going to eat at all, I'm actually impressed he went and sat on the step. Only in my house can total peace explode into shouting so quickly for no real reason. He was really angry that we were having Indian food and he wasn't, basically behaving like a spoiled brat. I now need to refer you to the first sentence in the paragraph and remind you that Xander likes his food, and is very rarely known to miss a meal, and certainly couldn't do 2 in one day. We had decided to just ignore him and sat at the table talking about nothing and eating our meals, when he kind of slunk in. He slid onto his chair without looking at anybody, muttered a vaguely acceptable apology to me and dived onto his food like he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast (because he hadn't). Bless him. 

This morning I am starting the day in peace, Neil is at work and the boys are still in bed. I am going to have my breakfast and cup of coffee (maybe 2) and chill out before I even attempt to engage the enemy, sorry boys, this morning. Having fallen out with all three of them in the past 2 days I'm thinking that minimal contact is probably the best option. 

Ten weeks + 6

Well this morning I have woken up with a terrible headache and a horrible sore throat, so maybe they have finally all given me their man flu. I guess it makes them a sharing bunch, but I'd much rather that they hadn't shared this. Yesterday was an incredibly busy day and taking Ned to the woods had to go out of the window as I had to deliver some papers to Laura so she could take them to Uni for me, nothing major just to make sure I don't get thrown off one of my modules this semester, it wouldn't be the best of starts. As to Ned, I can take him today, timetables sometimes need to be flexible to allow for all the other stuff that crops up from time to time. 

Everything else yesterday went really quite well, until we got to the evening, not Xanders parents evening, that was really good, and his teachers had nothing but positive things to say. No, Neil and I had a huge falling out with Will, it doesn't matter what it was about it's the dynamics that are interesting. Will talks to me, most of the time, with a certain amount of politeness, even when we are arguing, but he talks to Neil like he's dirt. Neil always jumps straight to shouting at Will and talks to him as if he's an idiot. As you can imagine, I am very much stuck in the middle, and end up with Neil also shouting at me, because I didn't back him up, and saying stupid things like, "if I'd spoken to my Dad like that he'd have belted me", really, I know his Dad and find that highly unlikely and made the mistake of saying as much, as I've mentioned before diplomacy is not my strong point. So Will stomps off upstairs and Neil stomps off into the kitchen, leaving me actually quite upset and wondering if I'll ever have a happy family again. Within half an hour they were both on the settee watching Mock the Week and laughing together. How can men do that? It's as if it never happened, and I'm left the only one still upset by the whole thing. Anyway Xander decided to write me a poem to cheer me up, he left it on my pillow for me to find when I went to bed and I decided to put it in my blog.

Maxine Maxine she's so nice

She will make you curry and rice

She wants the weather to be very sunny

She wouldn't want lots of money

She would like to ride her horse

She hypothetically has the force

This is the last time I will say

Before the end of the day

She's Maxine !

Well if all the shouting hadn't made me cry, that did. Though before anyone starts thinking how lovely Xander is I should tell you he's got up this morning in a really foul mood as it was too late for him to do something that he wanted on the computer. He has stomped and shouted his way all through breakfast and out of the house to go to school, so my men really are all the same!

Ten weeks + 5

Well I woke up today and my calf muscles are killing me, I can imagine that Carla would be laughing right now and saying what calf muscles (she calls me chicken legs, affectionately), trouble is I really do not remember doing anything yesterday that would cause them to ache. OK I walked up and down the stairs at Uni, it's 3 flights, but I did that last week and I was fine. I skipped out the field, but again this is nothing new, so I'm completely confused. I know that at some point during the day it will hit me, that I did something really silly and repetitive yesterday to have caused this, but right now my mind is a blank. I guess that's another sign of old age, Xander will be pleased.

I really did have a nice day yesterday, I really enjoyed my lecture at Uni, such a relief after the one on Tuesday evening. Then I took myself to my field and sat and had a picnic lunch in the sunshine with Malarky, whilst he munched on his lunch too. Unfortunately he finished before me and came ambling over to investigate what I had, if you can imagine I was sat cross legged on the floor and he towered over me before I could sort my legs out, needless to say he managed to steal some of my BBQ pringles before I could untangle my legs, and was aiming for my duck wrap as well. Trouble was I was laughing too much and telling him that horses shouldn't eat pringles, but he wasn't taking any notice of that, I spilt hoisin sauce all down my top it must have looked really funny. So I let him have a couple of pringes to appease him, he's a good boy, but he's an eat first ask questions later kind of a horse. 

I mentioned to Will yesterday that we were having a mini heatwave, he replied, "I don't call this mini", so I explained that the mini referred to the length of time it was hot for, not the temperature. It reminded me of a rabbit I once owned, no bare with me you'll see what I mean when I tell you. I wanted a pet rabbit and my parents agreed as long as it wasn't too big, we already had a couple of guinea pigs so thought a smaller rabbit would fit in better. So I got one, called Baggage (do not ask I have no clue why I called it that), he was a mini lop eared rabbit, notice the mini, that was the clue. Anyway he grew and grew and grew and I was like, hang on that's not my idea of mini, turns out the "mini" part only referred to his ears, they were smaller than normal lop eared rabbits ears. Oh well you live and learn, and you see now why I thought of that. It's very easy to get confused by the names of things. (well it is if you're me)

Today I have a full day, Summerhill this morning with Miss Wilson. Then I have to go and do Malarky, I've bought him a new lick so he's going to like me today, have I mentioned licks before they are like really big sweets for horses, full of special oils and vitamins and things and they smell really nice, they don't taste as nice as they smell (well not to people, yes I tried one, who wouldn't). Malarky will enjoy it, however, he will lick it and lick it until his nose is all brown, then he'll discover he has an itch somewhere and rub his nose on that patch, until it's brown, and so on. It is another way for him to become a skewbald (brown and white horse, OK Carla I hear you, to be correct it's any other colour and white horse, we have to get things right as she's a Lecturer in Equine Studies at the local college), becoming skewbald seems to be the main goal of most greys (white horses). Then once the boys get back from school, Will and I will take Ned to the woods (it's a timetabled thing), then Neil and I have Xanders parents evening at 7.30. 

I think that's full enough day, so I had better go and get it started, and no I don't have washing to hang out (yet), I forgot to turn the machine on again, typical.