Five weeks +4

Turns out I had a very serious case of COCD (Cross-stitch Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) yesterday, if you ignore absolutely everything, phones, doorbells and injured and or bleeding children, it is possible to complete a simple cross-stitch in just a couple of hours. Then of course you go into some kind of major withdrawal, and desperation sets in as you consider finishing a painting by numbers you started in 1987, that you are sure is in the loft somewhere. OK maybe some of that is made up, but I did finish the little cross-stitch. I also think that Neil may be reading my blog as he accused me of losing interest in the "utility project", oops. Well he then started discussing some way of insulating the ceiling and asked me what I thought so I replied "I don't mind", which he said wasn't funny, I beg to differ.

On a more serious note, and I do occasionally have them, I just want it down on record that I really do not like my stoma. I think I should give it a name, firstly it has to be male (traditionally all I get out of it is hot air and you know what), but it has to be a name that you sort of spit out, that can't be said with any real affection. I can't explain how it feels to have one, but if you think about breaking in a new pair of shoes, crossed with potty training a toddler, crossed with sitting for a really long time on a hard chair listening to somebody really boring. Well it doesn't come close, but you get the picture. It's annoying, frustrating and sometimes painful, and I had perfectly good one, now I'm breaking in a new one that I'm getting really fed up with. Phew glad I got that off my chest, sorry.

I did something quite naughty yesterday, I drove my car around the block. Before anybody gets too excited and phones my insurance company, and my consultant. I do only have 3 days left before I can officially drive, and as I pointed out to Will (apparently my official keeper), the chances of actually meeting moving vehicles outside my house at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, is pretty minimal. Being able to swerve into them and really cause damage, I'd have to be asleep! Xander said, "what if you'd passed out?", I really am going to have to stop talking to my children. I know they've had to be concerned about me for so long, but they have actually begun to think I'm invalided and an imbecile all rolled into one. OK so they may have a point about the passing out, but I never went more than 10 miles an hour, and couldn't that actually apply to anyone, and if we all considered it a possibility none of us would ever drive anywhere. Will then calculated how many days it would be before he could drive, thinking this was a suitable solution to letting his mother loose on the roads, 542 (I've checked it should be 543 as next year is a leap year, but we'll let that pass). Having said all that I'm beginning to wonder if it is me who has the problem, as there are two of them and they seem totally in agreement on my mental and physical inadequacies.

Talking of Will, he's off to the orthodontist this afternoon, to have his brace tightened, sounds pretty torturous. She's very nice (the orthodontist) but Will is convinced she doesn't like him, I guess that's part of the whole having a brace and having it tightened experience. I have added this paragraph about Will on purpose as he never actually reads my blog so I pointed out I could put anything in here I liked about him, even really embarrassing and he'd never know! So this is a test, cruel I know but he's 15, taller, thinner and way smarter than me so I like to get ahead of the game once in a while.

I should get off now, I have housework to do, (sad) and children to wake up (sadder), and a shopping list to write (have you all lost the will to live yet?) Ooh I just found a half done cross-stitch in the office drawer, Bye.