Four weeks + 4

I woke up this morning with a really bad sore throat, as I am going away tomorrow for a couple of days, we are going to use the power of thought, to persuade my body I've been snoring like a steam engine all night and am NOT coming down with a cold! Good now that's over and done with I can carry on with my day. I've got major snack shopping coming late morning, Will helped me order it on line just yesterday and it will be here by lunchtime today, you do have to love the internet (and ASDA). I managed to bump it up to fifty quid to use my free delivery voucher so that was a plus too, OK I may have added some wine onto the snack list, but I'll only be gone for 2 days I may need a drop of wine over the weekend!

I've lit Neils "blue touch paper" on a DIY project in the house, to set the scene properly - I may have mentioned an idea I had about the utility, and he spent a good chunk of yesterday evening on the internet. Project commencing I think, I'm really lucky, unlike some women, I don't have to nag and nag about something that needs doing, just plant a reasonable seed. To be fair these occurrences are not uncommon in my house, my favourite was the corner settee. I found a beautiful corner settee at Ikea one day, brown soft leather, really comfortable, surrounded by couples with tape measures shaking their heads. It just wouldn't fit in our living room, the room was the wrong shape, the door was in the way. The words "we could always move the wall" will go down in history as the best "light the blue touch paper" moment. To be fair, he said them so it really wasn't my fault, a few months later the wall was moved between the living room and dining room, the original door to the living room was blocked off and the settee had arrived. So about the utility.......

OK I just had to take a break from writing as the snack shopping arrived, early - it wasn't supposed to be here until much later which means my kids aren't, up so I had to deal with it all myself. I'm quite sure putting all the shopping away is one of those things I'm not supposed to do! Poor ASDA driver, I had to get him to check his truck before he left, as one of my cats and the neighbours are a bit of a double act and it looked like one of them was attempting to distract the driver whilst the other one took the van! Little devils, the poor driver had no clue, cats nowadays, what can you do with them.

I have started packing for my trip away, I have shoes and underwear in a bag. I must add a little bit more to that otherwise it will be an interesting couple of days. I am actually feeling a little bit nervous, leaving my comfort zone, I mean I haven't even visited anyone yet, so going away somewhere strange is a little bit scary. I remember this from the first time, you are nervous of leaving the safety of the hospital, but they do prefer you to go home eventually. Then you take your first trip out, just for a bit, not too far from home, again it's lots of Neils baby steps. I think that because I've done it all before I don't expect it to be a problem, but the reality is very different. I am frightened of going anywhere, other than home, for any length of time. I said it before, I once considered agoraphobia as a lifestyle choice, it may give you a clue into my mind. Anyway we will try to put that to one side, I am looking forward to going away for a couple of days, it will be really good for Neil and I as a couple, give us a chance to talk about anything and try to just enjoy ourselves without all the health stuff looming over us. Good, that did sound completely convincing didn't it? Doing something that scares me is something I should be used to by now, starting Uni was a big one, I wanted to run screaming away from the first lecture I was waiting to go in, you'd think I'd be excited but no, it was scary. If I can do that I can do anything!  

Maxines 8th lesson - Don't be afraid to do something that scares you, the outcome may surprise you.

Right I need to go and put all the rest of the shopping away, as I only did the fresh and frozen stuff, the kitchen is covered, or should I say littered with shopping that, however much I ignore it, will not put itself in the cupboards. I know because I've tried this before, it's like the washing up you see it, you leave the room, you come back, damn it's still all there! I know, I know I need to get out more!