Remember Maxines 4th rule, well yesterday was all about that. I carried the washing basket outside, I'm not supposed to do that. I started walking when my lift didn't turn up, I really shouldn't have walked so far or so fast. I went to the doctors and 2 different shops, inadvisable. When I came home I went to bed, I had really bad stomach ache and it turns out a temperature of 37.9, oops. I stayed in bed the rest of the day taking pain killers I haven't needed in over a week and feeling thoroughly sorry for myself. Definitely 1 step forward and nearer 4 back! On the plus side Xander (my 10 year old) made me, and himself, toast at 10 o'clock and we sat doing cross word puzzles until 1 o'clock in the morning, mad but it did the job.
As for the doctors, well the nurse giving me my depo was no battle at all, don't you always find that, you get really prepared for the fight and nothing comes of it, I had all these answers ready and everything. As for the blood test, I do need to go and see the doctor but, there is a plus point -an occasional blood test clinic at the surgery, problem solved hopefully. My appointment is this afternoon, poor Carla (my taxi) she will be really fed up of me soon! I still don't really see why the doctor needs to actually see me, unless it's curiosity, I guess doctors are nosy people too. Maybe I'm a bit of a freak to the medical profession, like a two headed lady, I can cope with that!
So apart from the doctors at 5.30 I have been told to stay in and rest, by my hubby. Yes, well, I can manage that, can't I, I think I can. I did buy some curtains yesterday though and I'd really like to see them up, can boys hang curtains? Oh I do have a friend coming by this afternoon, that should keep me trapped on the settee for a bit, can't wait. It's no use though, I just can't do nothing, just sitting here thinking about it is stressing me out, so how about I do a couple of really gentle tasks and get the boys to do the rest, at least if I'm supervising them (bossing them about mercilessly) I'm doing something with my time.
I do need to add something about yesterday though, when I came home from hospital, the first time after the reversal, I spent one day (nearly) home and had to go back in because I had a temperature (38.6), which in turn led to an even bigger operation and the best part of a week in HDU. So yesterday I really worried the boys, you could see it, especially in Will. It's one of the things I can't fix, and I don'tt know where to start. How is it fair that you worry, nearly all the time, that your Mom may have to go back into hospital, and just might not come back. That is a reality for my boys that I'm guessing with time will lessen in it's severity. Right now I just spin a good line in, I've been to the doctors 3 times recently and out to shops I am a bit run down I've probably just picked up a cold or something. Whilst inside I'm freaking out a little because I could do with some of the same reassurance myself.
Maxines 6th lesson - Try to learn to rest and let people do things for you (damn hard lesson).
On the very plus side Neil is talking about taking me away for a couple of days, maybe the end of next week. It will be just the two of us in a nice country hotel, after nearly 22 years of marriage it will be the first time he's done that. Although at the moment we are still discussing (arguing) where exactly in the country we want to go, never mind which hotel to stay at. Any suggestions would be welcome!
Here's hoping my day goes far more easily today, I know I'm the only one who has the power to ensure that!
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