Fifteen weeks later

I do think it's funny that people who have no problem sleeping (that would be Neil) have no real clue about how it feels when you do have problems sleeping (me). His advice to me this morning at 5:30 when I'd already been awake for over an hour being a good indication of that "why don't you go back to sleep", wow that's amazing why didn't I think of that at ten past 4 then I'd be much better off. Sorry sarcasm I know, lowest form of wit. I just wish I knew why I keep waking up that early, and more to the point why I seem unable to go back to sleep, am I worried about Uni, the boys, my health, or is my brain just working on overtime for some reason? If what was going through my mind whilst I was tossing and turning is any indication, I'm probably losing the plot - it was cakes, and specifically malt loaf and what I'd do with the rest of the bottle of malt extract that I'd need to buy if I made one, which is why I haven't. Do you see what I mean, it's not rocket science stuff, or deep and meaningful mental agility, it's just malt loaf. Oh well, I'm guessing it's an insight for some of you into the complicated movements of my mind in the early morning, and the rest of you are probably thinking about how much you like malt loaf, and that you haven't had any for ages. Me well, I think I'll make banana bread instead as I have bananas, or I am bananas, you take your pick.

I am really looking forward to going out tonight, and really worried about it at the same time, mainly in case Cyril misbehaves. Staying at the hotel gives me a feeling of safety though, knowing I don't have to deal with Cyril in the normal toilets, if he starts acting up, but in the privacy of my own room. When I'm out I always used the disabled toilets if I need to deal with him, as I need a sink to hand, I always expect somebody to challenge my need to use them, as I appear a perfectly healthy person, but so far nobody has. It's a fight I'm always prepared for and am actually disappointed I've never had to have. Another point about staying in the hotel and dealing with Cyril is that I can use a tiny clutch bag (purchased yesterday from Matalan for £4), instead of my bulky bag, as I only need room for my phone, purse and a bit of lippy, you have no idea how nice a feeling it all will be, I just might feel a little girly for a change. Anyway enough about Cyril, I get annoyed enough when he spoils my day, without him clogging up my blog as well. 

So Neil says take it easy today, I think he's worried I'll burn myself out before we even get to the hotel, he's planning to stop up drinking with his mate and his wife who are also going, and he's afraid I won't be up to the challenge. Well after being up since 4 he may be right, but if I do lots of things this morning and tire myself out I can have an afternoon nap and be all refreshed for this evening. I can see that this is all going to go wrong, I won't be able to sleep and after a couple of glasses of wine I'll slip into a coma at the table this evening and be a total embarrassment to him. It could go either way really. I will be taking Ned to the woods today though, the last thing the boys need this evening is a bouncy dog to contend with. I also have to go and do Malarky, yesterday the boys skipped out his field whilst I groomed him and changed his rugs. That's not strictly true but it had been their intention to skip out the field, in reality they aren't very quick at it, so I finished it off. My response to their comment about me being much faster than them at skipping out, well I used to do it for a living, so it only seems fair!

We are still waiting to hear back from the people selling the caravan if we can pop and see it on Sunday, it would be on our way back from the hotel in the morning, mind you I'm not sure I'll be in any fit state to view caravans at that time, not if tonight goes the way Neil thinks. We'll have to wait and see, and also my blog is going to be really really late tomorrow, but I will do it and let you know how this evening went, and whether my boys survived the night without us.