Fifteen weeks + 4

I know I am really late posting this but I have a really good excuse, as I've only just got up, I wouldn't mind that part so much it's the being awake from 2:30 until 6:30 that's the sticking point with me. Basically I had an upset stomach, which isn't anything to write home about, nor is it particularly unusual for me, especially recently. You have to realise that after the operations I've had, my bowel is now much shorter than most peoples, and everything works just that little bit quicker than it does on your average person, plus I seem more sensitive to certain foods, a lot more than I used to be. I know this isn't a pleasant conversation first thing in the morning but it has to be said. I have no control over Cyril, nor are there any nerves in the end of him, so I can't go back to sleep if I think I have an upset stomach, as mine won't necessarily wake me up if I need it to. So I lie awake waiting to have to change my bag again, and again, I hate the feeling that my body is in control of me instead of me in control of it. Neil thinks it's the bowl of chilli I had for my dinner last night, it was nice and tasty (home made vaguely from a Jamie Oliver recipe), it was a little spicy though, so there's your clue. I should have known better, I can't eat even mild curries any more, my diet is full of bland boring ordinary food, so I had a bowl of chilli and paid the price throughout the night. They say that having a stoma shouldn't affect what you can eat, well mine obviously does, so I think maybe I should go and see the doctor to see if he can offer me any help, like a really big cork (only joking).

Still it's put me all out of whack for the rest of the day, and I feel a little like I've been run over by a truck. Having another couple of hours sleep has helped though I still don't feel well enough to go to Uni, that's not just because I'm tired but back to the closet agoraphobia, what if it all starts up again whilst I'm there. Still people get ill and have to miss lectures, I won't be the first, and I doubt this will be my last. This upset stomach I keep getting could just be because my system hasn't settled down yet as it can take months, but I feel there's another underlying food intolerance that I've developed which is why I thought I should get it checked out. If changing my diet can solve all this it's not too high a price to pay, as long as it's not an alcohol intolerance, that would be the sticking point for me. I managed to wake up and wake Xander up to put him in charge of getting both him and Will to school, I know that seems the wrong way round but if you know my kids you know why. When Xander was 4 and he wanted some lunch he went and made himself a sandwich, then he went and made Will one (who would have been 8 at the time), it's always been that way round. Mind you Xander once made himself a butter sandwich, which was not as I thought simply bread and butter, but bread with slices of butter between them, so you do have to watch him.

If I'm going to stay home for most of today (I still have to do Malarky, he's my anti-agoraphobia hero) I may as well knuckle down and make a start on my first essay that's due in in two weeks, well when I say start I mean pick a question and maybe order a couple of books on the subject from Amazon, you can't argue that it will be a start. I can also do some housework (boo), and some washing (more boo) and play with my new tumble drier (that's not boo, it's still in the novel phase), I've worked out the buttons on it, I just have to decide whether I want my clothes cupboard dry or extra dry, I have no clue what that actually means but it dries the clothes until it senses they are dry if you press either of those buttons, so it's quite simple. Anyway I should go and have some breakfast as I feel a little odd, porridge I think would be a good one to have today.