Nine weeks + 3

So how did my day go yesterday, let me see it went really well, especially if you ignore the hospital appointment in the afternoon and me ending up in tears by the end of the day. Some days are harder than others, they are always going to be, you don't have to be recovering from an operation (or 2) to understand that. It wasn't a complete surprise either because I was dreading my appointment yesterday, but we'll come to that later, I think we'll talk about all the good from yesterday and maybe skim over the bad parts.

It was nice to have Neil at home for the day so to start off with we went food shopping, I understand that isn't exciting but it has to be done and it was nice not to do it by myself (I know I spend ages trying to get out and shop by myself then complain that I'm doing it on my own, typical woman). Then once we'd been home and put it all away, we went out again, this time to lunch, and yes to a Wetherspoons pub. I should explain it's not just an obsession of Neils but he's a member of CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) and has 50p off vouchers for beer that he can use there. Plus we have 3 Wetherspoons within a 20 minute drive of our house (actually there may be one in Dudley as well but we've never been). You know what you are going to get and they always have decent beer and cider on tap, it makes life very simple.  Once we were suitably replenished we went to B&Q, I know it's exciting this life I lead. As we walked through the entrance a man gave us a 20% off voucher, well that sealed the deal, so out we walked with 6 packs of floor tiles and all the adhesive and grout and tools required to tile the utility floor. We also bought a posh tile cutter, which with the 20% off we got for free, I thought that with all the tiling Neil is planning on doing it would be a sensible purchase. Then we trundled home, unloaded the tiles and went back out again, it was one of those days.

Now to the hospital appointment, I don't know the best way to put this, but well let me see, it was crap (yes that will do fine). First we sat for the best part of an hour with me getting more and more wound up as time went on, and Neil trying to chat to me about nonsense things to take my mind off it, and me snapping at him for talking to me about rubbish when I was thinking about my appointment. Then we got to see the consultant, he's a very nice and friendly man, if only that were enough. Now I've had 3 CT scans and on each of them there was some anomaly on my liver, it was thought to be nothing by the person who looked at the first scan but suspicious by the second person (hence the stress and ultra sound I had at Christmas last year). Now the third person who looked at my scan thinks it needs looking at and wants an MRI done of my liver and the consultant wants me to have more blood tests, so they are behaving as if it could be cancer again when I'm pretty sure that it's not. I said as much to everyone yesterday, to my sister in law, to my Dad, to my family. Then in my own bed cried myself to sleep just because I might be wrong, I don't really want to battle with it I have a degree to do, still if it's a battle I need then bring it on. I can always cry when I'm in my bed.

Well I've had a dreadful nights sleep and Neil let me sleep in while he got the kids up and off to school. Today I have a new stress to add to my life, my first lecture back at Uni, on the American Civil War. I am very nervous and stressed but it's only for 2 hours tonight so I can get through it, once I have then it will be so much easier to go to the lecture I have tomorrow on Germany 1871 -1949. I will soon be back to my student self once more, leaving yesterday where it should be as history.